Trip To Singapore

It's been 1 year since my last trip to Singapore.
Exactly 1 year ago, I was here to start my first business in Singapore. This year, came to meet this company again to give feedback and also discuss our future business plan. Met other companies as well to see if there is any other business opportunities.
What's difficult is that since Singapore market is very small (population around 4 million), having several partners will cause confusion and conflict. Therefore, we are researching the one who will be our best partner. Well, I guess you never know who is the "best", so I would say "better" business partner. This is always my biggest topic to consider.

Anyway, I met my good friend, who we sometimes discuss about work, love and marrige and he advised me this one phrase "to be successful, is to be ready when opportunities come". This is absolutely right.
I would also like to add "to be successful, you need to have the courage to jump in to that chance & change". I've seen so many people who doesn't have the courage to act and missed their chances.

Below is the picture from the boat ride on Singapore river.
I really like this city. Clean, organized, lots of nature, good food, and what's more, it is English speaking country. I feel comfortable wherever I go:) Enjoyed my biz trip this time!

Work, work work...

I haven't written anything about my life recently... Maybe because I didn't feel like writting, not many good news these days.

I've been stressful with my work since we entered 2009. One reason is because I'm feeling too much responsibility for my work and second is I feel difficulties dealing with one of my biggest client...

It's been almost 2 years since I joined this company, and I became to understand my company, job, my boss etc just recently. Since we are very small company, there's no one to teach you, you have to study, research, think and act yourself. That is interesting until they put you under too much pressure. Recently, I feel pressure towards me is more than my ability. If I can make an excuse, there's no one to teach, no past experience, so I have to figure out all by myself. In those cases, if they put me under pressure, I can't do anything... I'm too scard to do something. If they are gonna ask me for responsibility, I want more education, experience, someone to teach me, lead me.

This is one of the biggest differnce between big companies and small companies. In big company, they give you lots of opportunities to develop yourself. In small company, you have to figure out yourself. This is good and bad. Just studying and not putting into practice is meaning less ( I know many end up like this), however, you can't develop yourself unless you have the ability.
I quit my former company because the organization was too big that I couldn't do what I wanted to do, and now I'm doing what I dreamt of but asking for education like big companies... I guess humans desire for what they don't have. Such an ironic thing...

Anyway, hope my work situation will be bright. At least I like my company and like my boss, co-workers a lot. There's no one that I don't like in my company. Everyone is nice so work enviroment is very comfortable.

Only half year left until 2010... Time past so quickly...

My recent activities

It's been a while since my last post.
Here is what I've been doing for the past few month.

Birthday in HK..

Hakone Onsen at the end of the year...

Okinawa (Miyako Island) on New Years...

and San Francisco (Mac World) for biz trip... came back last week.

Biz trip to Kanazawa

Went to Kanazawa City, Ishikawa Prefecture, on a biz trip. This city is famous for hot spring and older genernation come here to relax. Not much to do here but I went to a road called "Nagisa drive way", where you can drive on the beach! No road signs or street lanes, so you can drive however you want. You need to becareful not to get stuck in the sand though.

I didn't expect to see this so I was so excited! Isn't this nice?

Biz Trip to HK & Singapore

First time going to HK. I was very excited to see the city, imagining how modern the city is. But my impression was, " it's stilll China". I thought it would be more westernized but people were Chinese (I mean mentally not physically).

I was amazed to see all those tall buildings though. I wonder how people can live in that tall building? That is not the height were people should live.


*Second pic below is a pic from the roof pool in my hotel. Isn't it wonderful to swim with this view?


Singapore was very nice. I think Singapore is the only place I can live in Asia other than Japan. Good service, nice people, clean, good shopping, diverse, English ok etc. I heard that 1 out of 4 people is a foreigner. Can you believe this? And the government has so much power, good and bad aspects but so far I guess they are managing well. Even with the high income tax and car tax, people are not doing strikes and following what they were told to do. People pay but know it will come back to them. In Japan, people pay and don't know where they go, how they are used...

*Below is again a pic of the pool in my hotel. It was a very very nice hotel. I loved it.

Just a reminder that I was not on a vacation, I was working! All these pics seem like I'm having fun but actually, I didn't have much time to go to pool and enjoy shopping...

Again, I met a lot of people. I want to say thank you for those who treated me nice. Thanks!

Weekend in Guam!!

It was a very tough weekend.

Worked Friday morning until 3 pm, went home to get my suitcase and off to the airport.

Arrived in Guam at midnight, couldn't sleep that day so went to the beach early in the morning.

It was only girls trip so we had lots of fun. Good food in nice hotels, had fun at the beach and pools, sunset and BBQ with polinesian dancer. Because we were too tired at night, we didn't go out to party but I think that was good. There were only Japanese and American navy!! When we were inHilton Hotel's pool, all we saw were American armies. I guess they were on their way to the next destination, stopped over in Guam to have fun.

Hilton's sunday brunch buffet was fantastic! We had champaign from 11 in the morning, I was kinda drunk all day...

One thing I was upset was that it rained at least once a day. It is sunny and hot but it also rains especially in the afternoon. So sometimes we had to wait 1 or 2 hours until the rain stop.

On the way back, pick up at the hotel was 3:45 am, flight at 6:45 am. Arrived in Tokyo at 10 am, went back to my house at 11:30, and went to work at 1 pm... I was gonna take a day off on Monday but I urgently had an appointment that I had to go.

Plus, the next day after work, I flew to Kagawa prefecture, which is in the 4th largest island in Japan and famous for Udon noodle. Stayed there for one night and went back to Tokyo. I didn't wanna go to Kagawa, but this trip made me refreshing. It is very country side that you have to drive 10 min to the closest convenience store but this made me feel relaxed. I guess I needed to get out from the city.

Anyway, this week was incredibally busy, tiring.

Leaving to HK/Singapore on Sunday for business. Usually I am excited to go abroad but not this time... I need to rest, take holidays...

Biz Trip to Taiwan

It's been a while since my last post.
I was in Taiwan from end of May till last week to exhibit at Computex Taiwan (June 3-7), one of the biggest electronic trade show in the world. It was very very busy and tiring but was good experience and a lot of fun.

I arrived earlier to spend the weekend in Taipei, to see my friend and also to see my house where I used to live. It was one of my dream to visit my old place so I'm very happy that I could achieve my dream. I didn't remember anything since it's been almost 20 years...

The show was a success. We had very nice booth (I did the decoration!) , many customers were interested in bringing our product into their market. Now that back in Japan, it's my real job to contact them, discuss and negotiate to have a new business. We had many buyers from all over the world but my target is Dubai!! (well, kinda personal purpose because I want to go there and it's so expensive to go by myself)

Other than work, I dinned out a lot. Every night, either dinner with customer or company staffs, we went to have Taiwanese food, Shanghai food, beef noodles, noodles and noodles... Therefore, I was craving for sandwitches and cheese cake for lunch. Too much Chinese food is heavy for my stomatch... but you know, chinese people eat a lot!! I don't know why how can they eat so much and not being so fat!?

Anyway, I met many people during this trip. Everytime I could meet people and they treat me well, have fun together, I feel very lucky and appreciate this opportunity so much.

ジンザイ

企業の「じんざい」には3種類ある。

「人罪　・　人材　・　人財」

人罪：いても役に立たない人。給料だけもらっている人。
人材：ずば抜けた能力があるわけでもなく、かといって不出来でもない普通の人。
人財：企業の財産といえる能力のある人。

自分は一体どれなのだろうか。
今は人材でも、必ず人財になろう。

ちなみに前の会社での経験だが、大企業は「人罪」が多い。
厳しい競争の中勝ち残り、大手に入社した新入社員はそう感じているのではないだろうか。 私の友人からもそのような話はよく聞く。
大企業病、あと10年くらいは続くだろう。。

Biz Trip to Hiroshima

I went to Hiroshima and it's been 13 years since the last visit. If you went to Japanese elementary school, you're more likely to visit Hiroshima on a field trip. Hiroshima and Nagazzaki are the cities where Atomic Bomb was bombed in 1945, only 2 place in the world. When we study history in school, we always visit the peace museum and this Dome below.

Too bad I couldn't see the city since I didn't have any free time, but would like to go there again and learn the history. I remember the museum was so realistic that it was too shocking for us young students.

Another famous thing in Hiroshima is hiroshima-yaki!! It's kinda like Okonomiyaki from Osaka, but with noodles inside and thinner crust. There was this building that has only hiroshima-yaki restaurants! I didn't know locals like this so much!

All around the World; Tokyo-Madrid-LasVegas-San Francisco-Tokyo

End of the last year, I went to visit the most speacial person to me in the world- to Madrid, Spain. I really had a great time. Dinner with all the family, Chirsmas presents, New Year's eve, shopping...etc. I deeply appreciate for their big, warm heart for welcoming me as one of their family.

After Spain, I went to Las Vegas on a business trip to attend the International CES show. On the way to Vegas, I transfered in Philadelphia and because of the strict immigration with such a long line, I miss the connecting flight. So I had to stay over night in Phila. Very tired and stressful after the long flight, long long waiting in line and terrible customer service. Terrible. All the other staffs were already in Vegas but I was 1 day late for the show... Plus, my luggage was not there (I knew it) so I had to go to the airport in midnight to pick it up. I am so tired of airplanes now, especially going to US.

Unfortunately, I couldn't enjoy Vegas much because I was so tired by the end of the day. I did have hotel buffet every night though. If you've been to Vegas you probably know, but there's only 4 things to do here. Casino, Show, Shoppping or Buffet.

After Las Vegas, our company headed to San Francisco for the MacWorld 2008. We had the weekend off so I get to enjoyed the city. Very beautiful city, nice people, diverse, good food, good shopping, I was very comfortable staying here. Also, Mac World was interesting. So many Mac geeks!Everyone was carrying Mac PC and iPhone in their hand. Mac fans are addicted to Apple products...

Since I was away from Japan for about 1 month, I feel strange to be back. I don't feel like I belong to anywhere now. Maybe because I was moving around like this since I was little and also I love to travel around. Where is the best place for me?? Where am I in 10 years??

Updates

It's been 2 weeks since I started working.
1st week past so fast. Very important customer from Italy came to visit us to have a meeting and I was one of the main person to organize everything. I will be the European Regional Sales (if this business works), so I was always with the Italians for 4 days.
Since I don't know anything about the company nor the products, I can't do any business negotiation but I did translation, explained technical stuff about products, helped to prepare for presentation etc. I worked from early in the morning till late at night but I enjoyed it very much. I get to eat sushi and tempura in Ginza and also, went to Nikko (3 hours drive from Tokyo where it has world heritage shrine) on Sat. which was considered "work" but me, I was enjoying sightseeing with them:)
Doing business with foreign company and Japanese company are very different. Their mind, their attitude, their questions are different. Sometimes they ask things we never imagined. I want to know more about the difference and be able to handle both well. Also, I need to learn more about the products... I'm not good in electronic device...

New Job

Finally, I've decided my way.
I was looking for a job and it's not difficult to get a job if you don't choose.
But to find the one that you want to do (and most likely you don't know what you wanna do exactly), was difficult.
Changing job is kinda like deciding your life. Especially in Japanese society. You can say that your private life depend on your job, company, industry, boss etc.

This time I've decided to work in a very small company. Very opposite from the previous company. Let's see which is better for me, big organization or small organization. It looks interesting though. I'm gonna be doing national and international sales. They've just launched their product internationally so I get to participate in un-established business. I don't know anything about sales but I think I can do it ;) I think "sales" is more of a people-to-people relationship.

Also, I'm excited about my new life in Tokyo! I found a very nice place near Tokyo tower. Finally I can have my own castle! I love organizing rooms and deciding bed, chair, curtain... make it in my style.

I'm gonna work hard and play hard to enjoy my life!

Japanese Society

Again, I've been thinking a lot about Japanese society, Japanese Company since I'm looking for a job right now.

My girl friend who works in one of the biggest and intelligent company in Japan, work a lot. Too much. It's okay if she's enjoying it or getting paid well. But the thing is, even though she works till 10 pm, she doesn't get over paid. (usual working hour is until 6 pm) It's not because her boss says you cannot do that. It's because the whole atmosphere, the company culture makes her not declaring over time. Another friend of mine (same age) who works in Panasonic got ill because... I think too much working. Make you work a lot, stress, pressure etc... If you get paid very well, maybe MAYBE you can survive but if no, you know what happens.

この一年で学んだこと。まとめ。

たった一年（実際職場についてからは9ヶ月）しか働いていないから、スキル・知識的なものは全く身に付いていないが、その間、日本の大きな組織に入って感じたこと・学んだ事・疑問に思ったことを最後に書き残しておきたい。

「この一年何を一番学んだか。」部内の送別会をしてもらったとき、課長にこう聞かれた。一瞬戸惑ったが、すぐ答えが浮かんだ。それは“組織”というもの。

私は今まで自由奔放に生きてきた人間なので、決められたルールに基づいて、型にはまったり、みんなで～、集団でするというようなことをあまりしたことがなかった、というか苦手だった。帰国子女だからといいわけしたくないが、やはり海外経験がある人は自分の意見をはっきり言うし、やりたいことを遠慮せず言うから、悪く言えば「自己中」、よくいえば「自分をしっかり持っている」といわれる。それを長所にするか短所にするかは自分次第であろう。

ともあれ、こんな私が伝統的な日本の会社に入ったのだから理解できないことがたくさんあった。
まず驚いたのが入社式。みんな同じ黒いスーツ。式の前に社歌を暗記＆練習。全員に支給されたダサすぎる服。毎朝の服装チェック。口の体操。社訓唱和。お辞儀の仕方。350人ほどいるのだから軍隊に入ったのかと思ってしまう。まず、この段階で理解できなかった。「みんなもう大人なんだし常識あるんだから幼稚園児みたいに監視しないでほしい。」のちに、ある部長に靴のピンヒールを注意されたときは本気で嫌気がさした。なんでそんなことまで言われなきゃいけないの？

それから集団生活、営業研修、工場実習を経て配属先へ。営業研修・工場実習は辛かったが、いろんな人々のお陰でうちの会社が成り立っていること、いろんな人の苦労のお陰でお金を稼げていることを肌で感じることができて本当によかった。また、いろんな視点から物事をみることができるようになった。二回目の大きな衝撃は配属先。経理部だった。どっからどうみても私は“経理”ではない。親も友達もそろって「あなたには向いていない」という。なんで？ここで初めて「会社という組織は怖い」と思った。
もちろん上司や人事に理由を聞いてみた。「数字に強い人間を育てたい。数字が分かればどこの部署に行っても強い。また、今の時代経理が一番海外赴任をする機会が多いから海外に興味のある人を集めている。」昔からよく言われているが、日本の会社が求めるものはゼネラリスト。いろんな仕事・部署を経験しながら視野を広げ上に上がっていく。私は海外営業かPR系しか考えていなかったし、エントリーの段階からアピールしていたのでそれを考慮したうえで採用されたのこと思ったが、実際は違った。経理配属10人中、経理志望は2人。その内全くもって興味のない人が5人。こんなんで大丈夫なの？と思うが、なんとかなるのがまた怖いところ。組織というものである。ひどいのは新入社員だけではない。いきなり3日後に違う事業所（つまり転勤）へ異動させられる人がいれば、アメリカから帰ってきたばっかりでやっと日本で家族と落ち着けると思ったら一週間後にタイへ異動命令の人もいる。昇格するかもしれないが、そういう問題ではないと思う。彼の家族はもう海外生活が嫌らしく、タイへは1人で行くそう。などなど、大きな組織になればなるほど、個人的なことを考慮してもらえず、会社の都合で動かされてしまう。確かに、これは理解できる。ここまで大きくなった組織、みんなの希望を聞いているといつまでたっても決まらないし、会社の利益を最優先するのが普通である。また、いろんな仕事を経験した人の方がいろんな角度から物事をみることができ、スペシャリストでは想像できなかったことができるかもしれない。そこで会社に従うか従わないかはその人次第である。私みたいにこのような組織は自分に合っていないと思えば辞めるだろうし、それでいい・出世するには仕方がないと思うのであれば従えばいい。ただ、悲しいのは、やめたい・嫌だと思って働いている人が想像以上に多いことである。でもなんだかんだ言って結局みんな辞めない。会社に従っている。だから組織も成り立つのだ。これが良いか悪いかは分からない。この組織のあり方が自分に合っているか、合っていないかだと思う。ただ、この日本的組織のお陰で日本が戦後強くなったことは事実である。日本人である以上、まして海外に興味がある私にとって、日本の組織を少しでも肌で感じることができたことだけでも、この会社で得た大きな収穫である。もともとこの会社を選んだのも、世界で強い日本の会社に入って日本の企業組織というものを知りたかったからなので、本来の目的は達成できたかな・・？

この他にも日々の業務で疑問に思ったことは多々ある。例えば、ハンコ。何かとはんこ、はんこをうるさい。一つのプロセスでも担当者（私）→係長→課長→部長と確認してはんこを押して次へ回す。一つの決裁を決めるにもいろんな部を回り、はんこをもらって次工程へ回し、結局決裁がおりるのに1週間はかかる。そんなに時間がかかっていいのか？と思い、入った当時課長に質問したことがある。「どうしてはんこはんことうるさいのですか？もっと早く決断した方がいいんじゃないですか？」と。すると「はんこにはきちんと意味があるんだよ。はんこをみると誰が確認したか、誰に責任があるか一目で分かる。責任分担することができる。また、はんを押すことによって個人に責任意識を持たすことができるし、何重にもチェックすることによって回避できる間違いを見つけることができる。」と。確かに自信のないものや不安なものには自分のはんは押したくない。また、大きな組織となった以上、一つの判断が大きなミスにもなりかねないので、複数の人間によっていろんな目線からチェックする必要があるのだろう。

とまぁ、"組織"というものに疑問に思うことが多々あったが、今はそれぞれに理由があり、理解できるようになった。再度言うが、これは良し悪しではなく、自分に合っているか、合っていないかである。日本的組織というものを少しでも体験できたこと、また、それが自分には合っていないことが分かっただけでもこの会社に入ってよかったと思う。

最後にもう１つ、この会社に入って得たもの。それは多くの出会い。同期はもちろん、尊敬できる上司、職場コーチ、部内の人、技術の人、工場の人、いろんな人にお世話になった。この会社は本当に良い人が多いと思う。意地悪な人はいないし、嫌味な人もいない。（もちろん変な人はいるけど）こんなんだからうちの業績が上がらないのかもしれないけど。何もわからない、非常識な私にもやさしく丁寧に教えてくれる会社はそうないと思う。数少ないが、これから一生付き合っていくであろう人にも何人か出会えた。同期はもう同期ではないが、これから彼らがどのように成長し、大きくなっていくのかすごく期待している。いつか雑誌や新聞等に載っている人もでてくるだろう。これからは一消費者として応援しています☆また、職場コーチと課長には心から感謝しています。会社のためではなく、私の事を思っていつも応援してくれ、２人がいてくれたからここまでやってこれた。本当に有難うございました。

Final Decision

Feb 19th.

I declined the offer. I called the HR manager in the morning but since he was out for the conferense, I wrote him a email. His reply was " I understand. Your will seems to be very strong so I will give up to hold you back. I wish for your success in the future. "

Feb 20th.

I met my direct bosses again to confirm my final decision. I said, "My will haven't changed. I would like to leave this company." They looked sad but accepted. The next is paper work.

Feb 21st.

I met the general manager this day and talked about things in details. When is the last day, what to do with paid holidays, insurance, resignation etc... I thought I had to write my resignation to give in but they had this format which you just have to fill in blanks and write few sentences.

My plan was to finish working on March 20th, and after that use all of my paid holidays. In this case April 20th will be my last day in my company.

March 1st.

I turned in my resignation paper. Everything's done.

March 2nd.

My boss called me suddently to discuss about the resignation date. The company asked me to set March 31st to be the last day. I guess this makes them easier for procedure and so forth. They said I can use my paid holidays so counting from the 31st using my holidays will be.... 7th!?!? My boss said it will be helpful to them if I stay longer (that means working for free!!) but it is up to me to decide my last day at work. Of course I will use all of my paid holidays! It was only 3 more working days till I finish. Wow.

The last 3 days went by so quickly. On Monday my boss told everyone that I will leave work in 3 days, did a farewell party for me, saying goodbye and thank you to people at work, plus my rutine work.

March 7th, the last day.

Updates...

So yes, I did tell my boss about leaving my job.

Feb, 5th, Monday moring, my boss (my closest boss) called me to talk. First I didn't know how to start so he was speaking most of the part. After a while I thought I have to say it so I started..."You know I've been thinking about my job, that I told you I'm not enjoying and want to change the position..." I've discussed and told my feelings few month ago. I told everything that I was thinking, all my passion, my decision. He listened to me and didn't stop me. He is a really understanding person, he always thinks about me first than about the company. "If the next step is best for you, I'll encourage you for what you've chosen." he also said "don't worry about the company. You can leave whenever you need to." because I said I feel bad that I'm leaving in the most busiest time of the year and also for everything he've done to me. He was different from other people. Never look down on me, explained to me in easy words so that I can understand even he was so busy. First step, cleared.

Next step. Feb, 7th. I had an interview with my manager in our accounting group. I told my feelings again. He's reaction was different. " I still want you to rethink and stay in our company. The best is to stay here but if you don't want to, I can talk to the HR and maybe we can change your position. Please think about it."

Third Step. Feb, 15th. My manager called me again and told me that bigger boss in Accounting department wants to talk with me. It's a bit complicated but I belong to 2 groups. I'm in accounting in Applied System Group but also belong to Head Accounting Department which is in the head office. So that means I have to persuade people in 2 different groups. So this time was interview with the Top 2 of the whole Accounting Department. He's in quite a high rank so made me very nervous. Plus, he has this big eye balls that make me more nervous. Anyway, in the first half of the interview, he was speaking most of it trying to make me pursuade from leaving. He said few things that made me a bit waver (like they might be able to change position) but maybe is maybe, no gaurantees. At the end, I think I won the fight. he seemed like he didn't know what to say because my will was so strong. But because of the situation he couldn't say "Ok, we will understand", so he just said " I understand your feelings but think again and hope you'll change your mind."

Forth Step. Feb, 16th. I was called from the same boss I talked yesterday and took me to HR manager's room. So now the boss of the HR. He didn't ask me like why I want to quit or something like that. He was there to ask how he can stop me from leaving the company. They offered me a great deal. He said he can put me into International Sales or Advertising group which I wanted to get in before. Not sure which position since there're many but definatley has something to do with internationally or PR. He said " we don't want to lose you for both of our benifits. We do have position that you might be interested. Will you stay if we give you the position that you want?" I didn't know what to say. then, he said "I'm not asking you to decide right now so think about it over this weekend and let me know on Monday, ok?"

Now this made me confused. This was the position I've always wanted, not anyone can get it. Doing international sales or PR for a big company must be very interesting, since the business is in a larger scale. As far as the career wise, staying in the company is a lot wiser. This is an ultimate decision. Choose my career or love? Which ever decision I make, I'm sure I won't regret. I just need to think what I want to do now. Not thinking like "if I choose this I will lose this" or " what if I ...." I had a weekend to think and decide.

Listen to your heart, Mayu... and I know what I want. I've already made up my mind. I guess I've already chosen the answer from the beginning. just that sometimes you need someone to agree with you and make you feel more confident, you know?

Thanks to my friends who gave me good advise.

Hisashiburi~!!

Haven't written for a while. I hope people are still reading my blog...

The reason I was away for a while is because my life has changed a lot recently.
In a good way, so don't worry. But still same job...
I remember writing here a few month ago that I'm thinking to quit my job. I still have that feeling and I was waiting for the right chance. Well, I think now is the time now.

My company was ranked 4th in one of the recruiting company's top 100 ranking and 1st among male new graduates. Human resourse said we have 3 times more applicants than last year. Wow, I was surprised to hear this.
You can't believe how good my company's welfare program is. Depends on which department you belong but in my case, I can get holidays almost anytime I want (I took 2 days off this month), no overwork except the busiest time. If I had to do overtime, I get paid 100% ( not like many Japanese who have to do "non-paid over time" ) I would never want to work for free. I also have long GW, summer and winter vacation (compared to other jp companies).

So lucky, huh? Too good to quit. I know, I know...
This makes me to hold back a little bit but I don't think I will regret. Because I'm not enjoying my job! It's not because I can't do it or I hate it. It's not the thing I want to do. I still don't know what exactly I wanna do but I can tell you this is not it. Completely the opposite.

I know that getting a job that you enjoy is difficult. Only a few (or maybe no one) are like that. You might have to keep looking all your life to find that position. But what if you don't try? Only regret will remain. You'll keep thinking "what if I did this...." or "what if I quit and challenged this...". I don't wanna be like that.

Anyway the reason I'm writting this is to remind myself that I have to notice my company this week. This week. I am 100% sure for my decision but I don't have the courage to tell my boss... I'm not like this usually but telling your boss that you want to quit is.... difficult, pressure. Especially when your boss did a lot for you. But in order to quit by the end of March, I have to say it. Please everyone wish me luck...

I'll update and tell you how it went next time.
For those of you wondering what am I gonna do after quitting, I'll tell you when I know that for sure. It's not like I'm not thinking anything and leaving my job. I do have some ideas and plans in my mind.

すごく久しぶりに書く気がする。
新年に入ってから新しい生活になったので、ちょっとご無沙汰してました。
新しい生活といっても仕事を辞めたわけじゃないので。
でもそろそろ本気で辞めることを会社に言おうと思います。前に一度このことについてブログ書いたことあるけど、ついにその時期が来たようです。

先週、会社のイントラで”当社がある雑誌で就職ランキング第４位、男性新卒者では第１位にランクイン”というニュースが入ってきた。人事部によると新卒応募者数は去年の3倍だという。正直驚いた。

辞めたい気持ちは本物だが、辞めたくない理由が一つだけある。それは福利厚生がとても良いこと。まぁ事業部や部署によるんだけど、私の場合、有給が好きな時にいつでもとれる（今月なんか2回も休んだ）、残業はほとんどないし、あったとしても残業代が必ずつく。GW、夏休み、冬休みが長期である（今年はそれぞれ９か１０日間ある）。こんな日本企業ほとんどないだろう。親にも「こんないい会社で働いて、他では働けないよ」って言われた。確かにもったいないかもしれない。でも面白くない。いやとかできないとかじゃなくて、面白くない。仕事に対するやる気が大きかった分、全く興味のない部署に配属されて余計やる気を無くした。やめる理由は後悔しくないから。面白くないまま続けて後で「もし辞めて～してたらどうなっただろう」とか「～やっとけばよかった」って絶対思うと思う。それなら試してみてだめだったらだめでいい。ただやらなくて後悔だけはしたくない。

そんなことはともかく、ここにこの事について書いたのは、自分に言い聞かせるため。辞める決意は本気なのだが、なかなか辞めることが言い出せない。勇気がない。普段はなんでも言えるのだが、"辞める"となると言い出せない。特に大変お世話になった上司に言うのが辛い。でも何が何でも今週中に言わなきゃ。でないと自分が希望する時期に辞められなくなると思うから。有言実行。ここで宣言したら言わなきゃいけないでしょう。

次回、どうなったか報告します。

Today's work

Today I attended a seminar from my company about consumption taxes and stamp tax. Not really interesting topic but one thing I enjoyed was this view from the building! It was right in front of "Osaka Castle" ! Plus, the leaves were starting to get red so that made the scenery more beautiful. I think I've never been there before... that's a shame. I should go sometime.
When I was falling asleep during the speech, I just looked outside and enjoyed the view:)


Sorry that it's not a good quality. I took it with my cell camera so if I zoom it, it becomes like this. My cell is a bit old now. Needs to be changed soon.








And after the seminar, since I was with my senpai (I think this is only in Japanese language, no direct translation in English- which means elder people in a certain group or community. ex. high school, University, company etc.), we went for a dinner. A nice dinner:)


This is one of the place I've wanted to go.
It's called "Le Bistrot de Paris" パリのビストロ（＠大阪西天満）
French cuisine and wine restaurant. We had wine and salad, we also ate wild boar (猪)! I assumed it would taste like pork (since it is a kind of a pig) but it was more like a lamb. I liked it but senpai said it tasted wild (?) and a little heavy. Inside was just like a restaurant in Paris, which reminded me of the days I visited Paris last year.

Bon Appetit!

Thoughts

Recently I've been thinking a lot about my future. Work, love, dream... Life.

Probably because I'm not satisfied with my work. I went into the business world this year with lots of ambition. I really wanted to work, I had my dream. However, I was put into totally different position I wanted to be in. I was so shocked and upset when I knew the fact but I thought I should at least give it a try cause I might like it. So I was doing Accounting this past few month. My job is a great place to learn about how money works, see the company as a whole, and about Japanese organization. I think Accounting is very important in business world so I don't mind learning it. Actually, I'm appreciating for giving me a chance to study Accounting.

Also, there are advantages (and of course disadvantages) working for big company. You have a secure life and salary, have long vacation 3 times a year (which is impossible if you work in Japan and I love that cause I love to travel) But, but....

Anyway, what I want to say is, this is not what I want to do.
I'm not sad but not happy either. I am not using my advantages at all. I know my strength and I want to make the most of it but what I'm doing right now, it doesn't have to be me. I think other people can do it better than me. I don't know why I was put in this position, what my company wants from me, but above all, company's convinience comes first in a big organization. So even I hope and wait till I can change position, there's no guarantee you can do what you want to do, and worse is that you might be transfered to countryside office where you never wanna go. Now I am willing to work hard but don't have the motivation to continue my current job...

I talked to some people about this recently. Some say "mottainai", which means it's too good to quit this job. Maybe they're right but what's the meaning if you're not enjoying your life? I also talked to people who are doing what they want to do. It might be tough but they were having their life. If you like it and that's what you want to do, then you can do it no matter how hard it is. I was also talking to a friend who started a cafe resturant last year which was his dream. He advised me, "List up everything what I want to do, your future dreams to even very very small things. Then, think ways to achieve all those goals. This will give you hints to your next step." So I did. and to think of it, my current job was too far from my goal. Off the track.

I just remembered when I was in Spain, one said "this is life!" on a boat, enjoying the sunshine, surrounded by people who you love. "yes, it sure is." I said.

You only live once. Live life.

Factory Work partⅡ

it's a bit while ago but let me write a little bit about the factory work.
So yeah, I was making friges for hours and hours... that was soooo stressful. check out my last blog for the details. but you know what, I did learn some things.
I was able to experience how hard it is to do the factory work. You can't imagine how tiring it is to just continue doing same thing for 8 hours a day. We shouldn't forget that because of them, we are able to make products and do business. Also, I knew that so many people are involved to make one prouct. of course, machine does most of it but still human hands are necessary. Human needs to watch the machines if it's working well, machines can't tell if they're doing it wrong, robots can't fix the problems, machines can't do small things (like taking off the tapes, connecting the right wires together), and they can't see & check the quality, safety, looks. And if you include the people from producing to shipping and sales, I bet hundreds and thousands of people have touched it till it gets to the consumer's hands. I was like, "wow, so many people are involved to make one single thing... because any kind of people must use man-made products, humans can't live by themselves. People help each other to make our life better." This may be too exaggerating but I was moved.

Anyhow, I just wanted to say this before it fades out from my memory. It was interesting but 1 day is enough. I would never ever do this again. Never.

And this week, I'm finally doing my "work"! Don't be surprised but I'm doing Accounting. Why? yeah, yeah I know it's not me but don't ask... it's a long story. I'll just say that's the Japanese Company. I'd never thought I'll do accounting either.

So next time I think I'll write about my work "accounting".